Bush Poll Numbers Not as Bad as They Look
New analysis shows strong support for president among megawealthy, mentally retarded
28 February 2006
WASHINGTON, DC -- Though recent polls show President Bush's approval ratings have dropped to a record low of 34 percent, such numbers are deceiving, says Dr. Ima Tool, senior pollster for the Bowtie Institute.
"Those polls don't take into account the economic and political power of the President's core supporters, some of whom make King Midas look like a welfare queen," says Tool, a fellow at the conservative think tank.
When poll results are weighted to reflect the wealth of each respondent -- so that the responses of the richest Americans count 18,000 times more than those of the poorest -- the President achieved a resounding 92 percent approval rating.
"The President continues to enjoy overwhelming support among households earning annual salaries of 8 figures or more, as well as those on the receiving end of Iraqi reconstruction contracts," he says.
Though President Bush did poorly among respondents who value competence, leadership, honesty, or intelligence -- garnering an approval rating of just 3 percent -- he scored extremely well among those who value the lack of disfiguring scars and an inability to do basic arithmetic, adds Tool.
The President also polled well among respondents who are married to at least one sibling, as well as those still willing to go hunting with Dick Cheney.
In the same polls, the vice president garnered approval ratings of just 18 percent -- making him the most reviled public figure in America since serial killer Charles Manson and actor Pauly Shore. However, when Dr. Tool adjusted the results to remove anyone related by blood or business ties to the vice president, Mr. Cheney became the first public figure in history to receive an approval rating of less than zero.
"Once again, the vice president breaks new ground," says Tool.
The same polls showed moderate support among key Bush constituencies for allowing US ports to be managed by the country of Dubai. However, when asked to pinpoint Dubai on a map, 47 percent of Bush Republicans pointed to Iowa.
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