GOP Defends Palin Clothes Bill as 'Economic Stimulus Package'
Veep candidate's $150,000 spending spree just a drop in the bucket, say Republicans
By Dan Tynan
WASILLA, AK -- The Politico Blog has revealed that the Republican National Committee has spent more than $150,000 since last August making Governor Sarah Palin look "vice presidential."
However, officials for the RNC defended the expenditures as an "important stimulus package" for sectors of the U. S. economy that needed it most -- the couture and cosmetic counters at some of our nation's toniest department stores.
Personal shoppers for the would-be VP racked up nearly $50,000 in bills from Saks Fifth Avenue in New York and St. Louis, and more than $75,000 in a one-day shopping spree at a Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis. That works out to an average of $2500 a day, or a rating of 4.25 on the John Edwards Haircut Scale.
Included in the costs was $4,716.49 on hair and makeup during the month of September. GOP officials defended the expenditure as necessary due to the rigors of the campaign and the difficulty of maintaining Palin's image as "Caribou Barbie."
"Have you ever tried to get lipstick to stay on a pit bull?" an official remarked. "We have to slap the stuff on with a trowel."
The WitList has obtained a photograph (right) of what the nation's Hottest Governor looks like without her makeup.
Palin's supporters urged the RNC to continue spending whatever it takes to maintain the candidate's status as #1 MILF.
"Hell, she looks hot, and that's all I care about," said Joe the Plumber (note: not an actual plumber). "I'd even give up the opportunity to own my own business if I could make sure she stays that hot."
Joe Six Pack could not be reached for comment.