Thursday, January 20, 2005

Sponge Bob is Gay!

I guess it had to come out eventually. Dr. James C. Dobson and the American Family Association have outed Sponge Bob.

Frankly, I’m surprised he’s stayed in the closet this long. I mean, just look at him. His best friend is pink! He discoes with jellyfish. He’s sensitive and has a pet snail. Then there’s his rather butch female friend, Sandy the Squirrel. More of a Grrrl Sqrrrl, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).

In a black-tie dinner before members of Congress and other presumed adults, Dobson expressed concern that Sponge Bob had been videotaped taking an oath of tolerance for differences in sexual identity, along with fellow travelers Barney the Dinosaur (gay!), Jimmy Neutron (gay!), and Big Bird (extremely gay!). This video, produced by the We Are Family Foundation, is to be shipped to thousands of elementary schools in an apparent effort to recruit an army of pro-homosexual six-year-olds. The outrage!

What apparently failed to enter Dobson’s eensy, weensy little brain is that the Tolerance Pledge he’s so exercised about does not appear anywhere in the video (though it can be found on the We Are Family Foundation’s web site). No matter. The next day Dobson’s organization, Focus on Family, said it stood by its founder’s statements, regardless of the actual facts.

FYI, the flamingly pro-gay sponsors of the video include the Anti-Defamation League, Disney, Fed Ex, Nickelodeon, PBS, and Sony Publishing. Fucking pansies, the lot of them.

Then there’s that group of pro-life conservatives who are concerned about Bob because they’re convinced he’s really a contraceptive sponge. But more on that later.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

They must have missed the warning that appears on screen before every episode:

Spongebob is not to be used as a contraceptive.

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know my son likes spongebob and I thought it was innocent viewing until my sister came over and ousted spongebob as being a gay cartoon figure. I began doin some research on my own and I discovered various topics or episodes that people have stated had an overtone of homosexuality in it. So I am viewing my son's episodes now to determine if I see this same overtone. I purchased some time ago film of cartoon I watched when I was a kid like, Flintstones. He likes these. But Spongebob has taken american kids by the hands like crazy. Thank you for having this forum where I could write my comments about what I think about this whole business. I will get to the bottom of this and when I see there is a strong overtone, they're gone.
So I have to go and find all of his CD and commence to watching. Thank you

6:22 AM  

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