Who Needs Ipecac When You've Got Peggy Noonan?

Here's more proof that Republicanazis are living in an alternate universe: this essay by Peggy Noonan in the Wall Street Journal. Forget the gloating, the unctuous self-congratulatory tone and the inane repetition:

George Soros cannot buy a presidential election. Savor. "Volunteers" who are bought and paid for cannot beat volunteers who come from the neighborhood, church, workplace and reading group. Savor.

The leaders of the Bush effort see it this way: A ragtag band of more than a million Republican volunteers who fought like Washington's troops at Valley Forge beat the paid Hessians of King George III's army. Savor.

What's most obnoxious about this is the idea that, somehow, while we were all watching "Desperate Housewives," the Right Wing Echo Chamber saved the country:

Every time the big networks and big broadsheet national newspapers tried to pull off a bit of pro-liberal mischief--CBS and the fabricated Bush National Guard documents, the New York Times and bombgate, CBS's "60 Minutes" attempting to coordinate the breaking of bombgate on the Sunday before the election--the yeomen of the blogosphere and AM radio and the Internet took them down. It was to me a great historical development in the history of politics in America. It was Agincourt. It was the yeomen of King Harry taking down the French aristocracy with new technology and rough guts. God bless the pajama-clad yeomen of America. Some day, when America is hit again, and lines go down, and media are hard to get, these bloggers and site runners and independent Internetters of all sorts will find a way to file, and get their word out, and it will be part of the saving of our country.

Unlike many of her counterparts on the Dark Side, Noonan isn't stupid. She's a talented speechwriter (though you wouldn't know it from this essay) and an amusing public speaker. But she's been giving handjobs to the GOP for so long that her calluses have calluses. She's a well-paid whore -- Enron gave her somewhere between $25K and $50K to write a single speech -- but a whore nonetheless. Like the reptilian Ann Coulter, the polysaturated Limbaugh and the oily Hannity, she's paid to use her mouth in the service of her masters. But it's her readers who end up gagging.