Hetero Today, Gay Tomorrow
U.S. Sen., R-Colo., reintroduced legislation on Monday that would amend the Constitution to ban same-sex couples from marrying. Wayne Allard
Ever since Our President declared that homosexuality is a matter of personal choice and not merely an accident of genetics, I’ve woken up every morning facing a difficult decision: Is today the day I turn gay?
Though a practicing heterosexual for more than 40 years, I could see immediate advantages to going gay. For example: My wife might appreciate having someone to go shopping with. Never again would she have to endure my pained expression and mournful sighs as we strolled from store to store. We could spend the evenings sipping fumé
But the prospect of switching teams raised a host of questions I had never before contemplated.
When I lived in
Now that I live in a
What we need is a National Registry of Sexual Preferences, where every citizen can specify the types of people with whom they’re willing to swap fluids. Potential romantic partners could look up your record before agreeing to that casual lunch invitation. It could be a boon for employers, church congregations, or any organization where your lesiure activities require careful vetting. I’m sure the Department of Homo Security would be happy to set something up.
In the meantime, it’s comforting to know that when it comes to my sexual preferences I do have a choice. Unlike hatred or intolerance, which it seems you’re born with and can never escape.