Monday, June 06, 2005

New Study Shows Rich People Need Money More Than Poor People

PR NEWSWIRE -- The New York Times reported last Sunday that the richest 0.01 percent of Americans are accruing wealth at a rate 18,000 times faster than the rest of the population.

However, a new report released today by The Bowtie Institute demonstrates that the Times’ report misses a very basic principle: If the ultra-rich have more money, it’s because they need it more than everyone else.

“It’s a matter of simple biology, really,” states Institute Fellow Phineas Taylor Varnum, Ph.D. “In the natural world, the fatter you are, the more calories you need to maintain your weight. It’s the same with the rich. Our studies show that someone with a net worth of $1 billion needs an average daily income of $8.7 million just to maintain his economic status. The simple fact is, being rich costs money.”

The Institute’s study also reveals that being poor saves money. For example, a person working full-time at the minimum wage would earn slightly more than $10,700 a year, or about $7,000 below the official poverty line for a family of four.

“But these figures fail to take into account what I call the ‘McD Factor’,” says Dr. Varnum. “Most of these people are already working in fast food restaurants, where yummy nutritious food is available at a discount. By purchasing Happy Meals, they can avoid the expense of buying toys for their children, and later sell these toys for a small profit. In addition, the Styrofoam burger containers can be repurposed and used for shoes or other household items, thus helping with national recycling efforts.”

Without a continued increase in the overall net worth of the top 0.01 percent, several vital industries would be imperiled. These include:

  • Yachts
  • Vacation homes
  • Luxury automobiles
  • High-priced escort services
  • Conservative think tanks

“Grotesque Croesus-like wealth is the engine that drives the world’s economy,” notes Dr. Varnum. “Without all that extra cash, land developers would be unable buy up natural wetlands and turn them into resort condominiums. The cost of fossil fuels would skyrocket, people’s life savings would be wiped out, and terrorists would run wild in the streets, though exactly how all this would happen we’re not at liberty to say.”

The Institute recommends the Bush Administration implement a new “Income Max” plan, where the top money earners receive all tax dollars paid by the other 99.99 percent.

“The ultra-rich give us so much,” says Dr. Varnum. “Shouldn’t they get something in return?”

© 2005 The Bowtie Institute: Putting the clothes on naked self interest since 2004

About the Bowtie Institute

The Bowtie Institute believes deeply in a return to America’s fundamental values. Ours is a country founded by rich white male landowners, and that’s how they intended it to stay. We started it, we own it, we can do what we want with it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you kiiding me? Recycling the burger conatiners? Who thought up of such a dumb idea? Yeah the rich need to pay the expenses on their, 25 vehicles, their personal aircraft, their luxury crusies around the world, their sail boats and yachts. Of course they "Want" money to pay for all there "toys" but they dont need the money! The poor need money to pay for the bare necesities, a need is something that will keep someone alive or support their family, rich people dont need their toys. Im doing a report on the "ultra-rich" and thanks for your support of how stupid people can be and how they waiste there time to satisfy the rich.

4:44 PM  

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