I Blink, Therefore I Am

Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank, watching videotape of President Bush’s interview with the Today Show’s Matt Lauer on Tuesday, had this to say about the president’s body language:

“The president was a blur of blinks, taps, jiggles, pivots and shifts.... When Lauer asked if Bush, after a slow response to Katrina, was "trying to get a second chance to make a good first impression," Bush blinked 24 times in his answer. When asked why Gulf Coast residents would have to pay back funds but Iraqis would not, Bush blinked 23 times and hitched his trousers up by the belt.

When the questioning turned to Miers, Bush blinked 37 times in a single answer -- along with a lick of the lips, three weight shifts and some serious foot jiggling. Laura Bush, by contrast, delivered only three blinks and stood still through her entire answer about encouraging volunteerism.”

I’ve figured out why Bush was such a mass of ticks and blinks. He was sending Morse code to his alien overlords. He was saying “Beam me up – NOW! And bring my robotic helpmate along, too.”

I admit to a certain vindictive pleasure in watching the man and his presidency implode after promising to steamroll us all less than a year ago. I am reminded of Nixon in “Last Days,” wandering around the White House talking to the paintings, forcing Kissinger to kneel in front of Lincoln’s portrait and pray with him.

Then I remember that this is the guy with his finger on “the football” (as Nixon called it), the briefcase containing the codes necessary to launch a nuclear attack. There’s nothing like dropping a few megatons on Tehran to clear out the synapses.

Remember also: Bush spent the better part of his post-college years inside a bottle of scotch. If he’s not already hitting the juice, I’ll bet a stiff drink is looking mighty good right about now.

But I don’t think the Bush presidency is done. As any fan of horror movies can tell you, just when you think the monster is dead it leaps up off the floor and sinks its teeth into your trachea.

Karl Rove has yet to be indicted. And if he is, I’d expect the nastiest take-no-prisoners counterattack we have ever seen. If there’s a way to Swift Boat Fitzgerald, he’ll find it. Cheney is still lurking in the shadows, though he’s been stitched up and put back together so many times he could be called the Frankenpresident. DeLay could figure out a way to have the Texas judiciary declared unconstitutional. Frist could get off by paying a stiff fine—too damaged to run for president, but still on top of the Senate. The Abramoff scandal is too convoluted for most Americans to understand. Iraq may eventually become a country instead of a war zone.

And, of course, we could get attacked again. Wouldn’t that just fill the Bushies’ coal-black hearts with glee.

So let’s not celebrate too soon. We’ve got a long way to go before the burial.