Cheney Limbaugh in 2008!

Could Dick Cheney follow in the footsteps of the last two-term Republican vice president? At least one major New York City newspaper thinks so. Among unannounced, potential 2008 presidential candidates "the one that who [sic] would bring the most to the race is Vice President Cheney," writes New York City's daily newspaper The Sun in an editorial. -- RawStory

WASHINGTON, DC -- Calling presidential elections “a quaint but outdated ritual,” Vice President Richard Cheney declared his intention to assume the presidency in 2008, following the end of President George W. Bush's current term.

“If elected I shall serve, and if not elected I shall also serve. And if you don't like it, you can all go ...well, you know the rest,” Cheney said in a news conference held in a secret bunker somewhere below Washington, DC.

According to recent polls, the vice president enjoys an approval rating of 18%, placing his popularity slightly behind Dr. Jack Kevorkian (22%) and just ahead of hemorrhoids (14%).

Cheney declined to name prospective vice presidential candidates, but indicated that right-wing radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh and Fox News personality Sean Hannity were “strong contenders.”

Sources inside the VP's office said a Cheney cabinet could include Katherine Harris as Secretary of State, former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling as National Security Advisor, and Ann Coulter as Ambassador to the United Nations.

Cheney said his first two acts as president would be to pardon all of the Republicans currently behind bars and to launch immediate nuclear strikes against Damascus, Tehran, and Boston, Massachusetts.

“We've got 10,635 nuclear warheads,” he growled. “Nobody's going to miss three or four of them.”

The vice president dismissed concerns about his health, stating that 72% of his internal organs had already been replaced by genetically engineered implants that will allow him to live – and rule – until the year 2038.