Report: 1 in 7 Republican Terrorists Return to Battlefield

Recidivist GOP-hadists may pose grave threat to Constitution

By Dan Tynan
Special to The WitList
According to a newly declassified Pentagon report, 14 percent of former Bush Administration officials have returned to actively terrorizing Americans.

Of the 534 members of the Bush inner circle with policy making responsibilities, 74 have returned to the fight after being released from custody at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, according to two administration officials who spoke on condition of anonymity.

The most prominent of these is former vice president Dick Cheney, who has been waging a terror campaign on the nation from an undisclosed location outside of Washington DC.

Aided by news networks and think tanks closely aligned with the GOP Jihad, the Republican Guard leader has been actively defending Bush Cheney administration policies promoting torture enhanced interrogation techniques and detention of suspects for eating felafels without probable cause.

The report may serve to strengthen the belief that as the Bush Administration drew to a close, the former vice president should have been set adrift on a ice floe in the Arctic Ocean, along with a loaded shotgun and his personal vault. That plan was rejected by EPA officials concerned that Cheney's presence would prove harmful to endangered species of polar bears.

Officials said recidivism among lifelong terrorists is not uncommon, but they're rarely seen an example quite like the former vice president, who also goes by the name al- Aying Mullah Fuqa.

“Most people with any sense know when it's time to go,” said one official. “But some people can only see and hear themselves. It's an ego thing. They really do believe the world revolves around them.”

Image of Shiek al-Dick courtesy of Village Voice blogs.