Ms. Coulter Issues a Correction

In an article extolling the virtues of gay prostitutes in the White House press corps, syndicated columnist Ann Coulter compared Jeff (James) Gannon (Guckert) to “that old Arab, Helen Thomas” (a phrase later changed to “that dyspeptic, old Helen Thomas” in the version distributed by United Press Syndicate). Ms. Thomas, a reporter for more than 60 years, is of Lebanese descent.

What she meant to say was “that sand nigger, Helen Thomas.”

Ms. Coulter regrets the error.

Ms. Coulter would like to correct other errors that were inadvertently introduced into her February 23 column. For example, in paragraphs 5, 6, and 7, the words “Maureen Dowd” appear. The corrected text should read “that boozy slut.”

In the penultimate paragraph, Ms. Coulter used the phrase “…proving our gays are more macho than their straights.” By “our gays,” she meant in no way to include Ken Mehlman, Scott McClellan, or Karl Rove. She did, however, mean to include Mary Cheney, Maya Marcel-Keyes, and Karen Hughes.

Wherever the word “liberals” is used, readers are encouraged to substitute the terms “wimps,” “traitors,” or “candy-assed faggots.”

Finally, though the phrase did not appear in her February 23 column, Ms. Coulter would like to amend the now-famous “Goebbels with tits” moniker bestowed upon her by blogger The Buffalo Beast. The appropriately modified version should read “Goebbels with a really expensive, kick-ass boob job.”

Ms. Coulter regrets the errors.