Monday, February 28, 2005

Ms. Coulter Issues a Correction

In an article extolling the virtues of gay prostitutes in the White House press corps, syndicated columnist Ann Coulter compared Jeff (James) Gannon (Guckert) to “that old Arab, Helen Thomas” (a phrase later changed to “that dyspeptic, old Helen Thomas” in the version distributed by United Press Syndicate). Ms. Thomas, a reporter for more than 60 years, is of Lebanese descent.

What she meant to say was “that sand nigger, Helen Thomas.”

Ms. Coulter regrets the error.

Ms. Coulter would like to correct other errors that were inadvertently introduced into her February 23 column. For example, in paragraphs 5, 6, and 7, the words “Maureen Dowd” appear. The corrected text should read “that boozy slut.”

In the penultimate paragraph, Ms. Coulter used the phrase “…proving our gays are more macho than their straights.” By “our gays,” she meant in no way to include Ken Mehlman, Scott McClellan, or Karl Rove. She did, however, mean to include Mary Cheney, Maya Marcel-Keyes, and Karen Hughes.

Wherever the word “liberals” is used, readers are encouraged to substitute the terms “wimps,” “traitors,” or “candy-assed faggots.”

Finally, though the phrase did not appear in her February 23 column, Ms. Coulter would like to amend the now-famous “Goebbels with tits” moniker bestowed upon her by blogger The Buffalo Beast. The appropriately modified version should read “Goebbels with a really expensive, kick-ass boob job.”

Ms. Coulter regrets the errors.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Liz said...

Yup, this one's good too..

Your blog contains some sterling wit, Dan!

Much more so than other "anti-Bush, anti-Repug" blogs I tend to come across, on blogger...

Many of those are just porn. Which gets old fast. There was another on Ann Coulter (DEVOTED to the subject of her, yeech!) but it was just the author's fantasies of how he would really like to fuck her, in various odd places on her body, and how he imagined her reciprocal fantasies to be, of wanting to do Democrats. (Debbie Does Dallas, substituted for Ann Does Democrats.)

But why are they always criticising her for being "a man"??

I don't think she looks like a man... unless, yeah, they are talking about someone of indeterminate gender, as skinny people often appear.

She's very tall, though... Almost supernaturally so, along with that very narrow build which makes her look like an El Greco painting... I've got a better suggestion. I think she's got alien blood in her veins and genes - you know, like those, what they call them, "Nordics"?? (As opposed to the grays.)

Heh heh!!

2:16 PM  

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