Fox Network Announces New Fall Lineup

New shows to merge entertainment with conservative values

Special to The WitList
5 August 2006

In an effort to spread the successful Fox News strategy to its entertainment division, the Fox Broadcasting Company has announced additions to its fall lineup that it hopes will appeal directly to the 35 percent of Americans who can't tell the difference between George W. Bush and Homer Simpson. Here's what the new shows will look like.

Who Wants to Spread Democracy?

In this reality series, six strangers are thrown together into a situation room at the Pentagon. Their mission: to overthrow a small oil-rich nation and install a US friendly government. They have just six weeks to fabricate a rationale for war, draw up plans, and declare victory. Anyone who opposes them will be voted off the planet.

Freaks and Dekes

Delta Kappa Epsilon president George wakes up after a big blowout to suddenly find himself president of the country. In episode one, George holds a kegger on the White House lawn while his wise-yet-wacky vice president tries to keep the country running. George responds with his trademark catch phrase, "I'm the leader of the free world -- chill, dude."

Scared Straight II

A reprise of the landmark 1970's TV series that tried to straighten out wayward youth by showing them the horrors of prison. In this newly updated version, gay youth are kidnapped and converted to God's only true form of love by being shown the horrors of homosexuality. Hosted by the Reverend James C. Dobson.

The Compassionate Conservatives

Lovely Ann Coulter and jolly Rush Limbaugh star as The Himmlers, a successful suburban couple in West Palm Beach. In the first episode, hilarity ensues when a black family tries to move into the neighborhood. Ann organizes the PTA into a lynch mob, while Rush tries to cop some "Oxy" from their teenage son. Katherine Harris guest stars.

In other programming news, Fox is putting the highly anticipated Mel Gibson miniseries, "The Jews: Hook Nosed Killers of Christ," on temporary hiatus due a scheduling conflict with Mr. Gibson's drug counselors