Senator Allen Says He's Sorry... Again

Apologizies for racist comments he denies making

Special to The WitList
24 August 2006

MT VERNON, VA -- Senator George Allen (R-Virginia) issued another in an ongoing series of apologies today as his re-election campaign attempts to recover from allegations of racism.

Allen was captured on videotape last week calling Democratic campaign worker S. R. Sidarth a 'macaca,' or monkey, and then welcoming him to America. Sidarth is of Indian descent but was born in Virginia.

Today, Allen admitted to occasionally using other racial slurs in casual conversation. He apologized to Senator Barack Obama for calling him a jigaboo, jungle bunny, biscuit lips, Sambo, chicken bandit, darkie, ghetto hamster, an Africoon American, and "Senator Buckwheat Bambooma."

Allen also apologized for calling Senator Hillary Clinton a "rug-munching bull dyke," and for attempting to hire former HUD Secretary Henry Cisneros to mow his lawn.

Allen's campaign manager Dick Wadhams claimed the use of such terms merely indicates that Senator Allen maintains a colorful vocabulary. He then blamed the liberal media for reporting what the Senator actually said instead of what he felt inside his heart.

In a survey of Virginia voters likely to vote Republican, 42% said they support Allen despite his racist comments, 37% support him because of his racist comments, and 21% said they wished he'd return to his former job as coach of the Washington Redskins.