Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Toys for the Republican in Your Home

Just in time for the holiday shopping and election season, GOPco (a division of Permanent Majority Inc.) presents these exciting new toys:

Tom Delay's Whack-a-Mole: Whack Tom over the head in Texas, and he pops up in Virginia. Sure to delight children of all ages while teaching them valuable lessons in geography and politics. Comes with its own special Hammer.

Rock 'em Sock 'em Joebots. These battling Joe Liebermans can never be defeated. Knock his block off, and he gets back up and declares himself an independent. Available in red, rose, crimson, scarlet, or puce.

Bob Ney Hand Puppet: Stick your hand up this Ohio Congressman's behind and he'll say anything you tell him to. Enjoy hours of fun slandering your enemies and promoting friends' business interests in the Congressional Record. Order yours now before he's indicted!

Jack in the Box: In this new version of the classic wind-up toy, Jack Abramoff pops up to implicate yet another elected official in the K-Street lobbying scandal. Available in black-and-white stripes or Federal orange.

Growing-Up Kathy: This life-sized Katherine Harris action figure is one of a kind. Pull her string and watch as she denies all allegations and fires her latest campaign manager. Made from 100% recycled trash. Limit: One per planet.

G.I. George: This action toy comes with several smart-looking military outfits but no gun. So you can dress him up, but he won't fight -- the perfect gift for the chickenhawk in your family. Built-in voicebox includes such sayings as "Mission Accomplished," "As they stand up, we'll stand down," and "He can run, but he cannot hide."

The Wincheney 73: Play big-time water fowl hunter with this air rifle, an exact replica of one used by the Vice President. Order now and you'll receive for no extra charge the Dick Cheney Bird Call: "Go Duck Yourself!" (not suitable for minors)


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