Monday, October 13, 2008

McCain Renames "Straight Talk Express"

Campaign bus now dubbed Hate Talk Express

hate talk express

SEDONA, Arizona -- In an effort to reflect the changing tenor of the McCain Palin juggernaut, officials inside the McCain campaign announced they are changing the name of the McCain bus from the Straight Talk Express to the Hate Talk Express.

"It's time to formally acknowledge our strategy to bring reform to Washington, DC, by viciously attacking our opponent," said a McCain campaign official who was too busy liquidating his stock portfolio to offer his name. 

In a town hall meeting in this southwestern resort, McCain urged his followers to stop calling Senator Barack Obama a terrorist, Muslim, homeboy, spear chucker, waterman eater, jiggaboo, and Senator Sambo Osama.

"But if they want to exercise their First Amendment rights," said the candidate, "that's their cross to burn-- er,  bear."

McCain went on to slam Senator Obama for being a dangerously inexperienced radical who wants to socialize health care for millions of middle income Americans when he should be socializing banking for thousands of extremely wealthy Americans.

The GOP candidate contrasted Obama with running mate Sarah Palin, praising her pragmatic stances on state secession, the use of gubernatorial powers to settle family disputes, and her ability to kill, render, and dress an eight-point buck without smearing her lipstick.

"Also, she's fully protected against witchcraft," noted McCain. "That will come in handy if we're attacked by flying monkeys."


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