PBS Rocked by New Scandal

Associated Press

WASHINGTON, DC -- Ken Tomlinson, the controversial Bush appointee who heads the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, has come under fire for hiring another Republican consultant to report on alleged bias in long-running PBS programs.

The Associated Press has learned that ex-Republican pollster Maynard Krebs was secretly paid $14,567 to watch the popular Sesame Street program and report on signs of avian bias.

In the report, a copy of which was obtained by AP, Krebs noted that on several occasions Big Bird made gratuitious references to flying, feathers, eggs, and other avian-leaning activities without offering equivalent coverage of other land or sea animals.

Krebs remarked on other suspicious activity in his report. In one example, he noted that though many of the actors on the show have grown visibly older over time, Grover, Oscar the Grouch, and even little Elmo have shown no signs of aging.

Krebs speculated that these cast members may have obtained unlicensed ‘youth’ drugs purchased in Canada, in violation of FDA and FCC regulations.

In other news, Tomlinson dispelled rumors that the “Journal Editorial Report,” a news and opinion show featuring the editors of The Wall Street Journal, has been retitled “When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth.”

“PBS is not the place to discuss topics like evolution or the dinosaur myth,” Tomlinson said. “These should remain issues between a person and his or her Christian God.”