A Day in the Life of GW Bush
The President’s Daily Dairy –
08:00 Get up. Watch Teletubbies. Mommy has gotten new cereal for breakfast -- Frankenberries. Eat three bowls.
09:00 Receive morning briefing from
10:00 Morning energy briefing. Oil prices have reached new all-time high. Call
10:30 Go for bike ride. Mommy has gotten me a new bell.
11:30 Leave ranch in long black car. Strange people are camping outside the ranch. They hold up signs. Mommy reads them for me. She tells me the signs say “We hate
12:00 Go to cookout at neighbor’s yard. Eat hot dogs. Talk to people I don’t know who seem to really like me. Collect $2 million.
14:00 Return to ranch. Bad people are still camping out and holding signs. They yell things. I start to roll down the window to spit at them but Mommy stops me.
16:30 Wake from nap. Mommy changes sheets.
17:00 Rub the head of small black child for luck.
17:30 Dinner. We’re having fish sticks with macaroni and cheese and rocky road ice cream for dessert. Yumm.
19:00 Briefing with Department of State. Condi is teaching me new words. She makes me repeat things like “
19:30 Movie time. Tonight we’re watching “
21:30 Put on jammies, brush teeth. Pray that people camped outside go to the bad place that
22:00 Mommy tucks me in. Sweet dreams.