Top 10 Reasons Karl Rove Quit

(with apologies to David Letterman)

10. He's planning to join David Lee Roth on the next Van Halen tour.

9. He's about to be indicted for operating a dog fighting ring behind the Rose Garden.

8. He wanted to spend more time suppressing the black vote.

7. It was only a matter of time until Dick Cheney shot him in the face.

6. His boss wouldn't give him time off to attend Gay Day at Disney World.

5. Having failed to build a permanent majority of Republicans over here, he's looking to build a permanent majority of terrorists over there.

4. Two words: Sex change.

3. Wanted to get out while Bush popularity ratings still in double digits.

2. If you'd had your hand inside another man's ass for 14 years, you'd be ready to quit too.

And the number one reason Karl Rove quit:

1. Osama made him a better offer.