The Ballad of Larry Craig

(as sung to the tune of Knockin' on Heaven's Door)

Bob take these pants off of me
Wedge my bag against the door
Are those your fingers that I see?
I'm just tapping on the bathroom floor

Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor
Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor

Slide your foot here next to mine
And we'll do a little dance
Say, those loafers are divine
Let me show you my wide stance

Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor
Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor

Swing your legs under the wall
Let me try you on for size
Or come over to my stall
And we'll fly the friendly skies

Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor
Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor

I'm no faggot, no siree
But that policeman had to spoil it
I've been forced to cop a plea
Now my career is in the toilet

Just for....

Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor
Tap tap tapping on the bathroom floor