Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Tale of Two Farmers

One day a man buys a farm. He doesn't know much about farming, the woods around him are wild and he doesn't trust his neighbors, so he decides to get a dog. He finds the meanest scariest dog in the world, something that's half pit bull, half Doberman, with maybe a little dingo thrown in. This animal has sharp teeth and a fearsome bark. This is one mean dog. The man thinks he is safe.

One day not long after, a fox breaks into the henhouse while the dog is sleeping and slaughters all the chickens. After the fox has gotten safely away, the dog wakes up, starts barking and won't stop. He chases after the fox but stops before he gets very far. He begins to bite other dogs just because of what they look like. He runs down the street to harass a tired old hound, chews through the fence, digs up the lawn, and eventually kills the ancient mutt.

The farmer assures his neighbors that his dog is the only thing keeping them all safe. But every day that dog craps on a new neighbor's lawn, and every night his howling robs them of sleep.

After eight long years the farm finally fails. The bank forecloses, and the man is evicted. On his way out he has the dog put down. The neighbors openly rejoice.

A new farmer arrives. He begins to fix up the place -- patch the holes in the roof, prop up the barn that had started to collapse, restock the larder which the old farmer had picked clean. After the farm starts to get back in working order the new farmer goes hat in hand to his neighbors' houses, one by one. To each neighbor he says the same thing.

“I'm sorry about that old dog,” he says. “I'm sorry he dug up your lawns and crapped all over them. I'm sorry his howling kept you up at night and that he caused so much damage. I know it was wrong, and I'll try to do better with my new dog.”

The old farmer still had some friends left -- not many, just a handful. After the new farmer left they turned to each other. “Boy,” they said, “that new guy sure must hate dogs.”

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